Tainted

You are more in control than you think.

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I thought this would make me happy, that I would be filled with joy and not a minute to waste on frowning… when did my thoughts get tainted?

I’m now sitting here, I have what I have wanted… yet my joy is tainted

The joy of having what I have been crying for, hurting over and praying for is here, but tainted.

It is no longer like before and I don’t know if it ever will be, many edges and mountains was overcome to reach here but somewhere along the way, the vision got tainted

Now I sit here wondering if it was worth it, worth the pain… could it be that I am just over thinking? Is my joy really not tainted but my thoughts of my joy tainted instead?

At the end of the day, I control how I see the outcomes… how I see myself envisioning the future and I will NOT allow these tainted thoughts ruin that

I will overcome this next upcoming mountain because my joy is valued, my joy is important to me; enough to not taint it.

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